Day 1

I arrived at the surgery at 9am, signed all the forms, went through to the theatre where the anaesthetist went over my forms and said, "Oh, so you have mild asthma..."

"It's not mild" I said.
"Not mild?" Her eyebrows shot up.
"No, it's quite bad."
"I won't be able to give you full sedation"
"Arrrgh!"

It got worse. When grilling the surgeon about how to look after myself after the operation I asked him if, in his opinion, they were going to be simple extractions. The answer was a resounding NO. Apparently the bottom ones were "under the bone" with the roots wrapped around the nerve, and he wasn't sure if he was going to be willing to take them out at all unless there was something acutely wrong with them. Because of the roots being wrapped around the nerve, it was far more likely than normal that I would permanently lose all sensation in my lower lip and tongue. The top one was coming out no matter how hideous an extraction it would be, as it was quite badly decayed. And to top it all off, he wasn't going to allow me to take my teeth home with me so that I could put them in a jar on the mantelpiece! This was all sounding so much worse than I had feared, or rather so much worse than I had honestly expected it to be when I had looked at the situation from a logical point of view.

Regardless, it had to be done. I had a decayed wisdom tooth and two more that looked as if they were likely to go the same way. I had already paid £200 for the operation. I laid back and thought of England.

Hats off at this point have to go to the anaesthetist's catheter insertion technique, because I literally did not feel a thing as she put it in my hand, it was quite remarkable. She gave me a few ccs of Valium, or whatever it is they use, and within a couple of minutes I started to feel a bit woozy and much less distressed. A strange side-effect of the sedatives was that they made me cry. A lot. As soon as it kicked in, tears started streaming down my face. Although everybody was saying things like, "This drug can make people all emotional" it wasn't an emotional reaction at all, it was purely physical. It was as if water was just dripping out of my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. Then the surgeon began to anaesthetise my mouth. I'd never actually had an injection at the dentists before (I refer you back to my freakishly strong teeth and the fact that I have never had any dental treatment) and had been a bit worried about this as I'd heard that dental injections were hideously painful. I had quite a few, and only a couple of them were more than just slightly uncomfortable. The next thing I remember clearly was my top right - the decayed one - coming out. The reason I remember it was I think just the shock of how gentle and non-violent a procedure it was - I was just lying back there with the surgeon fiddling around in my mouth and suddenly he was saying, "It's out", pulling something out of that corner of my mouth. I began to feel a lot better about the whole thing at this point, not that I was feeling particularly bad thanks to the sedatives. But I discovered that I had had that thought too soon as he started on my lower ones. Everything is a bit of a blur but I think I may have moaned, cried, wriggled, tried to hit various people in the room or some combination of those things. I don't remember screaming at all though. I was swiftly given some more novocaine, and I think at this point the anaesthetist must have decided that I was doing well enough to be given the full dose of sedatives, because I don't remember anything after this other than being able to hear the drill as they broke the teeth apart.

I *think* I remember being led to the recovery room and told to lie down, but I might just be making that up. Either way, I was lying there, still crying uncontrollably, having been given so much anaesthetic that I literally could not feel the whole of the bottom half of my face AT ALL. I mean, they could have removed my jaw and I'd have been none the wiser. I don't really remember much, I remember my mum being there, which was good as I was asking loads of questions the answers to which I'm sure I would have forgotten. And I very clearly remember the surgeon coming into the recovery room, leaning against the wall, taking off his mask, mopping his brow, staring straight at me and saying, "I could NOT have done that without sedation". He didn't say whether this was because it was a particularly difficult or painful procedure, or because I was such a difficult patient.

Once home, it was quite a challenge to sip a mug of warm water. I was dribbling a lot of blood and couldn't feel when I was dribbling so mum got me a mirror. I didn't look my best, it has to be said. I had been told to take a maximum dose of painkillers well before the anaesthetic wore off, and this I did, but there was still a bit of a time lag between the anaesthetic wearing off and the painkillers kicking in, and it wasn't pretty. It wasn't unbearable, but it was highly unpleasant. I was delighted however that all of the sensation came back into my tongue and lips, so that's one complication I know I have escaped.

I had just about stopped bleeding by this point, so I went to the bathroom to take the gauze packs out. Big mistake! Within a few seconds I was in unbearable agony. They hadn't said anything about this in any of the literature I was given about what to expect in terms of post-operative pain and swelling. I also had the really, really unpleasant sensation of my cheeks being uncontrollably sucked into the sockets. I made myself another couple of gauze packs pretty sharpish.

Then I settled down to read for a while, but began to feel incredibly drowsy. The effects of the sedatives still hadn't worn off, and I settled down for a nap. Slept for about three hours, woken up by the alarms I had set on my phone to remind me to take the right medication at the right time (am on antibiotics and two painkillers). Got up, decided that surely it would be ok to take out the gauze packs by now. No, it's still agonising not having them there, especially on the left side, which is weird as that's the side where I've only had one taken out. Actually, come to think of it, the top right hardly hurts at all - it's just the bottom ones that are giving me trouble. I am now sitting in front of my computer, eight hours after the operation, gingerly lifting the gauze pack away from the right side with my tongue to try and wean myself off it slowly...

This is what I looked like 2 hours after the op. Beautiful.